(ERNESTO:) Yeah.

(CHRIS:) Yeah. Time to wake and bake!

(ERNESTO:) ‘Bout to snap, crackle pop a cap in that ass!

(CHRIS:) Cereal Killer.

(ERNESTO:) Some Cereal Killers in this bitch.

(CHRIS:) Unh. Yeah.

(ERNESTO:) I got more bacon than Kevin.

(CHRIS:) Actually Kevin got quite a bit of bacon, man. You see that movie Wild Things?

(ERNESTO:) Yeah he actually–

(CHRIS:) Dude’s the man.

(ERNESTO:) That was insane, you know what I’m sayin’?

(CHRIS:) I’m talkin’ somethin’ serious.

(ERNESTO:) Foot…it was like Footloose-long. Foot…Foot-Long-Loose. You know what I’m sayin’?

(CHRIS:) (Talking over) Foot-Long-Loose, G. Unbelieveable.

(ERNESTO:) Dude was packin’. Yo. He was good in X-Men, too. Did you see X-Men?

(CHRIS:) Naw, I didn’t see X-Men, Dawg. I didn’t see that.

(ERNESTO:) Yeah, He was one of the bad guys.

(CHRIS:) I didn’t know that.

(BEAT BEGINS)

(CHRIS:) Man we better do this Gangsta Breakfast thing, man.

(ERNESTO:) Even gangstas get hungry, bitch.

(CHRIS:) Hungry like a mug.

(ERNESTO:) Hustlin’ them eggs, you know what I’m sayin’?

(CHRIS:) Yeah. Turn up that Fire.

CHORUS
Every day
You know I be running the game
It’s hard to wreck this
Because I know I’ve got it made
With a gangsta’s breakfast

(ERNESTO:)
Once again it’s early morning and it’s time for breakfast
My pockets be full, but my stomach be restless
Yo check this
I’m pourin’ two-percent in some Chex Mix
With oatmeal for real and that toast from Texas
We reckless
Eatin’ shit while watchin’ Netflix
Ready to Pop Tarts ‘cuz they taste the bestest
Respect this
We just some pimps that need grub
Name brands get approved, but generics get mean mugged
We real thugs
Smokin’ bowls in this bitch
Takin’ Cocoa Puffs, then we passin’ that shit
Rockin’ so much ice, even the flakes be frosted
And we don’t stop eatin’ ‘til the face exhausted
I need to be fed before my pockets can flourish
How’m I supposed to smack a bitch if I ain’t properly nourished?
Come on, kid
What you think that this was
We turn’t up so high doin’ just what we does
And that’s a rap son
And you can bank on that
If my name be on that cup that means I drank on that
We stay strapped on the low, ‘cuz we comin’ from Texas
(CHRIS:) And that’s every day
(ERNESTO:) When it’s a gangsta Breakfast

CHORUS
Every day
You know I be running the game
It’s hard to wreck this
Because I know I’ve got it made
With a gangsta’s breakfast

(CHRIS:)
I do the gangsta life readily
Wakin’ up doesn’t rattle me
Plate of Breakfast ahead of me
And I’m straight for the day
I’m setting up all the food groups
Sausages and some Froot Loops
Getting poured up with Orange Juice
And I’m rolling a J
You can’t
Expect a gangsta gon’ be skippin’ a meal for real
‘Cuz bein’ slow’s how muthafuckas get killed
You can go healthy or you can go sweet
Just get yourself some whole wheat
and make your breakfast complete
The beauty is you can eat whatever you got
Cinnamon rollin’ on dubs or Quaker microwave hot
Pancakes, cereal, eggs, juice and toast
Honey Bunches Of Oats and Purple Drank for your throats
Candy cane, candy bar, ice cream it don’t fuckin’ matter
You got a beef with how I eat, bitch that’s how brains get splattered
Don’t fuck with the most important meal of the day
‘Cuz bitch I eat how I eat and you ain’t got no say…Mom
I do my breakfast how a gangsta does
‘Cuz we be anxious thugs
With caffeine dranks in mugs
Watchin’ the drama of the cereal gang
Turn up your stereo gain
And let this fill yo’ brain

(ERNESTO:)
Cap’n Crunch is a Crip
That’s why he’s wearin’ the blue
He shot that Lucky Charmer
Now he’s Boo Berry too
The Cookie Crisp Cop
He be tailin’ the fool
Now Cap’n Crunch is in for murder
And He’s somebody’s boo… (CHRIS:) SOMEBODY’S BITCH!

(MUSIC STOPS)

(ERNESTO:) Dude! Why you steppin’ over my bars, man? You tryin’ to get burned?

(CHRIS:) Dude I thought–Isn’t that what happens in prison? I mean I thought you were gonna say bitch.

(ERNESTO:) Bitch doesn’t even rhyme dude! Why would I say bitch?

(CHRIS:) I don’t know, I thought I knew where you were goin’ with that. I’m sorry, but eh..

(ERNESTO:) Man, come on, man.

(CHRIS:) Look I said I’m sorry. I. Am. Sorry. Okay? Let’s just take a deep breath. (Breathes)

(CHRIS:)
An egg McMuffin ain’t got nothin’ on some waffles and syrup
Or chocolate in a croissant like how they do it in Europe.
I need good nutrition so my rhyming be dexterous
That’s why I start my day with a Gangsta’s Breakfast.

CHORUS
And I Pray
That the struggle never
leads me to regret this
‘Cuz I am just what I eat
it’s all connected
You know I be running the game
It’s hard to wreck this
Because I know I’ve got it made
With a gangsta’s breakfast

(ERNESTO:) Four basic food groups, you know what I’m sayin’? Is there four?

(CHRIS:) Man, I thought there was four. Maybe there’s five? Six?

(ERNESTO:) Gangsta’s eat seven! You know what I’m sayin’?

(CHRIS:) Hell yeah.

(ERNESTO:) Seven food groups, muthafucka. You ain’t on this shit.